The world's first sperm tracker

Your sperm is the canary in the coal mine. Except the canary is in your pants, and you’ve been ignoring it like a cookies banner.

Modern life is basically a slow-roast for your swimmers: desk prison, stress cortisol showers, sleep debt, heat exposure and Friday-night “I deserve this” drinking. Your body can fake fine. Your sperm is usually the first thing to quietly resign.

Most men only check sperm when it’s already DEFCON 1. Cup in hand. Wallet on fire. LOAD flips that: sperm health becomes a simple 0-100 score you can track like sleep and steps before you’re googling “is this normal” at 2am.

How it works (no, you don’t need to hand over a sample on Day 1):

You log the drivers (sleep, stress, training, booze, heat, cadence). The score updates as your behaviour does. If you want the 4K version, add a sperm test later; it anchors the score to lab data and sharpens the picture.

Don't know where to start? Try this:

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  Track sleep + alcohol + heat in the app for 7 days.

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  Pick one challenge. Finish it.

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  If you care: baseline test now, repeat in 12–16 weeks.

Pro-tip: get a bunch of your friends to sign up using our referral code and you can get a test for free